Saturday, May 30, 2009

exams

long time no update!

I've been so busy. too busy.

too many assignments

too much to study

SO much stress

A thesis to write

Personal problems to take care of

Shopping needing to be done

Dealing with emotions about Glasgow

... just too much to handle...

so i've been a way for a while.

BUT

I'M BACK!

My last exam is on Thursday

and then i plan to:

Swim,
Relax,
Have fun,
Catch up with my friends
AND
work on thesis (the down part, i know)

Until then i'll cu later!

much love!
xxx

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

beauty

Every one who knows me knows that i like to watch the top model series, especially the australian and canadian versions. I dont love the show, but i like to watch it because it is interesting to understand other people's perceptions on beauty.
This is just a composition of my thoughts on what beauty means to me.

What is beauty?

BEauty is the look of happiness on a young child's face when she finds her doll
Beauty is the sound of laughter
Beauty is the taste of an exotic food, delicious and beckoning
BEauty is the feeling of love
BEauty can change
It isn't fixed
It is in the eye of the beholder
Beauty is who you are
Beauty is art
Beauty can be the face of a lady, seen by a lover
Or a well run sewer system, seen by a worker
Or even the purr of a cat, heard by a lonely woman
Beauty can be anything to anyone
It can be the sound of music, ringing in the ears from a soprano's melodius note
Or the beat of a rap star
beauty is who you are
It is what you believe
It raises you above the world
It is something even greates
It is the dream of Martin Luther King, Jr.
It is the declaration of equality
it is the sound of prayer
Beauty can be simpler, too
A little girl on the playground, watching a crowd taunting her
But standing firm as a rock, solid, strong, not afraid of anything
It is a smile
Asqueeze of the hand to say 'I'm here, it's alright'
Beauty is who YOU are
When you don't let anyone push you down
and when you can say " I am me, I can see the beauty of the world
I am the beholder
I am beautiful"


Just some thoughts. What does beauty mean to you?
much love y'all
xxxx

what were you doing at 2:30am?






that is what i was doing. fun, fun, fun!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

21st bday

So i am now 21! and legally an adult everywhere in the world. I can drink, party hard and generally have no restrictions what so ever!

How do i feel?

Pretty much the same as i felt 2 days ago lol. I guess the whole 21 business will hit soon.

How was my bday yesterday?
just one word:

FANTASTIC!!!!

Just a sum up of my bday weekend:
Friday i spent with the family at my mum's school (they had their summer fair going on and i was selling tea and coffee from 10.30- 3)
In the evening we went out to eat chinese.

Saturday morning i went to Sliema (the major shopping town in Malta were all the brand named shops are; Zara, Topshop, BHS, MArks and Spencers etc etc) To spend my bday cash and so that my sis buys me a bday gift. I got a ton of clothes and things i totally need for Glasgow.
In the afternoon i just chilled and took a longggg shower and did my hair.
In the evening i went out with my best friends from a great meal ( and a surprise cake - chocolate with the best icing EVER!) I was so touched by their actions and their words on the card that they gave me and the presents. They moved me to tears. I was just so grateful that i had friends as great as them. Thank you gusy so much, for a great evening and a great bday! really one of the best!

Sunday - Well lol it is kind of slow today all i did was vacuum our house and mop the floor. But my dad - being the greatest chef that i know- is preparing a meal for my and my family, which i really can't wait to eat!

All in all, i was expecting this bday to b a downer and totally quiet. But i was so surprised that it wasn't! It was actually one of my best bdays, and definitely one i'm gonna remember!

xxxxx
much love!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Questions!

65 Questions You've Probably Never Been Asked Before.

1. First thing you wash in the shower? My hair, it takes so long because of its length, better get it out of the way!

2. What colour is your favourite hoodie? Red, but im not going to see it until next winter it is already quite warm here!

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? well i gave my mum a birthday kiss, so if she counts Of course!

4. Do you plan outfits? usually whilst im in the shower in the morn i try to plan. When im out with friends i try on a zillion outfits before returning to the one i originally picked.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? stressed, anxious and guilty lol

6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red? a ribbon i had tied round my cat's neck at christmas time

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? lately i seem to be dreaming a lot more than usual. the latest one involved to uni lecturers and a plane. lol.

8. Did you meet anybody new today? No - i stayed at home 'working' on my assignment grrr

9. What are you craving right now? summer and glasgow. i wish it was july!!!

10. Do you floss? No - i dont think we even have floss over here in MAlta, either way i've never seen it in stores.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? the smell. and old people. I know, i know, very politically correct.

12. Are you emotional? not really, although i am much mor ein touch with my emotions than i ever was before.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? No, y wud i want to?

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? I lick - i have very sensitive teeth. (xtina, i could do with that cookie ice cream we had last friday! yummm)

15. Do you like your hair? i love my hair. now that it is trimmed and its one colour, it looks healthy again. Right now it is a right state though lol!

16. Do you like yourself? i have learnt to give myself a lot more credit than i used. So, yea i do like myself :)

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? No, y would i even want to?

18.What are you listening to right now? the extraordinarily loud hum of my laptop charger.

19. Are your parents strict? Not at all. They were very strict with my older siblings but by the time i came, its like they really relaxed.

20. Would you go sky diving? I would want to, but i have to be realistic coz i knw i wouldnt!

21. Do you like cottage cheese? i love cottage cheese! only 3 calories. haha.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Not up close and personal anyways. I have seen will smith though, on the premier of Men in Black when i was in Leicester Square in London one time.

23. Do you rent movies often? Not really. I am youtube junkie.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? Lol no. I'm looking around and i am suddenly aware of the lack of sparkly paraphernalia in my bedroom. Pity!

25. How many countries have you visited? Well ive been 4 times to Italy, once to France, twice to London and i was born in canada. so really 4.

26. Have you made a prank phone call? No. of course not (totally sarcastic)

27. Ever been on a train? yep. I love trains they are so relaxing.

28. Brown or white eggs? Im not a fan of eggs. they gross me out a bit.

29.Do you have a cell-phone? After my pink v3 motorola drowned in a pool of orange juice (i was stupid enough not to close my juice bottle properly) i acquied a Samsung white slide phone with purple buttons. I have grown to like it, but i loved my motorola!

30. Do you use chap stick? Not really, my hair always sticks to it lol.

31. Do you own a gun? No.

32. Can you use chop sticks? I tried but failed miserably.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight? My friend the computer and my best friend - the probation act :(

34. Are you too forgiving? Soemtimes. People say i am.

35. Ever been in love? Yes, but im not at the moment. and not looking either (at the moment)

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? xtina probably is gonna relax with her family (am i wrong? lol), tess probably has to work. and theresa always eats a humongous lunch with her family and then sleeps it off lol.

37. Ever have cream puffs? Don't think i knw exactly wat they are.

38. Last time you cried? can't remember. I suppose it has been a while then.

39. What was the last question you asked? if my dad was going to cook dinner or am i.

40. Favourite time of the year? Spring. i LOVE spring!

41. Do you have any tattoos? No although I wouldn't mind one. im thinking a butterfly on my foot.

42. Are you sarcastic? Sometimes. When people ask me something stupid usually.

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? Yes i did, and i really liked it!

44. Ever walked into a wall? oh yes. lol. it happens often especially if im texting and walking at the same time.

45. Favourite colour? green! it used to b pink, but now it shifted to green and purple.

46. Have you ever slapped someone? Im not a violent person.

47. Is your hair curly? it kind of is. lol - more wavy really.

48. What was the last CD you bought? its been a while ever since Ares and imesh came into the world lol.

49. Do looks matter? Yes and no. u have to b attracted to someone u r going to marry, but it definitely can't be the only thing coz looks do change.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? no.

51. Is your phone bill sky high? (Iam VERY jealous of your system rebecca!) i have bought over 6 top up cards this month (each worth 5 euros)

52. Do you like your life right now? Yes i do. I have finally reached a time in my life when i am happy with what i have acheived and that i can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on? No, I dont have a tv in my room.

54. Can you handle the truth? yes. I have thick skin and it's always better to know, than not to know.

55. Do you have good vision? YEs and no. i can great up to 1 meter, but then i need my specs. I dont mind them though!

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? i dont think so!

57. How often do you talk on the phone? Im always on the fone with my family members. My mobile is reserved for my friends. and MSN!

58. The last person you held hands with? well my friend grabbed my hand coz she was gonna fall lol. i dont think that counts though.

59. What are you wearing? stripey green t shirt (which is way too low cut for uni lol my mum had bought it for me!) and blue track trousers.

60.What is your favourite animal? I love my black cat. i love him SO much. but i love monkies and elephants too!

61. Where was your default picture taken at? my cousins wedding! which was actually held tomorrow of last yr!

62. Can you hula hoop? Yes. we always used to in primary school during PE

63. Do you have a job? No. Students in Malta get paid to study haha. it's not a lot but it's definitely better than nothing at all. i get 85 euros a month (for 10 months) and 400 euros a year for books and stationery.

64. What was the most recent thing you bought? shoes and a handbag because it's my mum's bday today and that's wat she wanted.

65. Have you ever crawled through a window? several times. I used to get locked in my room (my bro had broke the door knobs) and i used to jump out of my room into the yard and run around the house to get in from the front door.

i got inspired by her to answer these questions, that and i am procrastinating. I have to finish 2 assignments and i dont feel like. :S.
U can tell it's end of semester time. Exams, assignments, presentations. U name it, im doing it. yuck.
today week, it's my 21st bday! wow! im gonna enjoy that weekend, that's for sure!
the grass IS much greener today, metaphorically speaking!
much love,
xxxxxx

Friday, April 24, 2009

dreams

This week whilst i was surfing on youtube, i found the clip of Susan boyle (of Britain's got talent) singing i dreamed a dream. It reminded me of when i saw the musical in London 10 yrs ago. Susan was so heart warming that i almost cried.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Da9Hwt8yT7A&feature=related

These lyrics a lovely, and in my opinion, so truthful.


I dreamed a dream

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

My dreams have certainly changed since i was young and many were killed by the everyday lives we lead. i dreamt to be a pianist, a writer or an artist and life spoilt them.
This week wasnt a great week, i had a bad stomach flu and i just plain wished that i could disappear and come back next week. Today i heard some vry heart breaking news and im saddened for this person, yet i cant do anything about it.
Lately people who i hang around with (not u tess and xtinangel!) are just plain making me feel as if im a rotten person, or that all i ever say is wrong. they make me feel as if everytime i open my mouth i say something bad. It's quite sad seeing that i see these ppl everyday. I'm also having problems with my sis. Ever since she got married it's like she changed into a complete different person. I feel as if i dont know her anymore and that she doesnt know me. This is really a pity bcoz i considered her one of my best friends. Sometimes i feel as if time is flying by, yet i'm stuck where i am unable to move forward. I feel so alone sometimes.

I cant believe im 21 next week! It looks like it will b a quiet b'day, but i dont mind i just want to spend it with my family and close friends.

On the plus side xtina got that job!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU LOVE! u deserve it soooooo much! you have been so patient, waiting for your opportunity and u got it! well done!

Until next time readers, hopefully with a more cheerful update. I have lost my perspective on things, i need to see the bigger picture.
Some one once told me the grass was much greener.... on the other side.

much love
xxxx

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

holidays!

So now it's April!
the last time i wrote i was amazed at how quick life can be taken away from u, literally, in the blink of an eye!

I started easter hoidays this week! wiii!!!!! I need them badly because i am horrendously busy. i have so many assignments and so much coursework to do, i am feeling overwhelmed. So much for holidays.

But i am getting more and more excited for july!i know i mention this in EVERY post, but it just shows how EXCITED i am. i want change and an adventure and a challenge in my life... i just need ERASMUS to get back to me.. lol.

In the mean time i will concentrate on all my assignments and final semester exams, which are coming up soon.

Befor signing off i want to give a huge shout out to xtinangel for at least getting a trial at a new job! i knw u can do this girl! u are gonna rule! lots of love xxxxx miss u!

take care everyone and have a blessed Easter!
xxxxx