dreams

This week whilst i was surfing on youtube, i found the clip of Susan boyle (of Britain's got talent) singing i dreamed a dream. It reminded me of when i saw the musical in London 10 yrs ago. Susan was so heart warming that i almost cried.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Da9Hwt8yT7A&feature=related

These lyrics a lovely, and in my opinion, so truthful.


I dreamed a dream

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

My dreams have certainly changed since i was young and many were killed by the everyday lives we lead. i dreamt to be a pianist, a writer or an artist and life spoilt them.
This week wasnt a great week, i had a bad stomach flu and i just plain wished that i could disappear and come back next week. Today i heard some vry heart breaking news and im saddened for this person, yet i cant do anything about it.
Lately people who i hang around with (not u tess and xtinangel!) are just plain making me feel as if im a rotten person, or that all i ever say is wrong. they make me feel as if everytime i open my mouth i say something bad. It's quite sad seeing that i see these ppl everyday. I'm also having problems with my sis. Ever since she got married it's like she changed into a complete different person. I feel as if i dont know her anymore and that she doesnt know me. This is really a pity bcoz i considered her one of my best friends. Sometimes i feel as if time is flying by, yet i'm stuck where i am unable to move forward. I feel so alone sometimes.

I cant believe im 21 next week! It looks like it will b a quiet b'day, but i dont mind i just want to spend it with my family and close friends.

On the plus side xtina got that job!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU LOVE! u deserve it soooooo much! you have been so patient, waiting for your opportunity and u got it! well done!

Until next time readers, hopefully with a more cheerful update. I have lost my perspective on things, i need to see the bigger picture.
Some one once told me the grass was much greener.... on the other side.

much love
xxxx