void

i feel empty.

I dont know y, but i just do. I feel like nothing is in my hands and everything is spinning out of control.

I'm not depressed. I'm just empty. Can anyone else understand what i mean, it's hard to put into words. It's like I have nothing to live for and everything to lose and nothing to gain.

I miss everything about living alone in Glasgow and then the next second i'm so glad i'm back home.

I miss everyone and nobody at the same time. I want to move forward but i dont want to simultaneously.

in circa 8 months i qualify and enter the working world. I've been in this career for 3 years and suddenly i'm doubting that this is what i want. I dont know what i want any more. i LOVE, LOVE social work... yet i am so doubtful about everything!

I'm usually so certain in my life choices... why is this happening to me? What is going on? is this a phase? Is this what being a final student means?

I need to see the bigger picture.

I need to see the light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

Whatever it is that is missing... i just hope i find it soon...


much love,
xxx